


Faux Fox Jumped Over the Fence

by ForgottenChesire



Series: Christmas '19 [2]
Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M, Minor Character Death, mentioned child death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-16
Updated: 2020-01-16
Packaged: 2021-02-27 09:14:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,015
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22274674
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ForgottenChesire/pseuds/ForgottenChesire
Summary: He doesn't regret her. What he regrets is not telling Crowley. That he stole time and memories the demon could have had of her. And oh, how he regretted his actions, his secrecy, his fear, even more when she was taken from him. Killed by a man; or demon or maybe even a nephilim who had survived the purge,  who left a scar on his face. Took his precious Eve away from him. When he gave the Holy Water to Crowley he had almost told him, almost showed him the scar that he hid. Ashamed of it, of his failure. He had turned in his seat and opened his mouth. But he had been a coward. You go too fast for me he had said instead of I went too slow and lost her.
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Series: Christmas '19 [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1603357
Comments: 8
Kudos: 28





	Faux Fox Jumped Over the Fence

**Author's Note:**

> Happy late Christmas dear! Hope you like this!

The stuffed fox is soft. The faux fur a brilliant black on top of white. With bright blue button eyes staring lifelessly into the void. He had tried to get her to latch onto the equally soft snake. The one with blue eyes that reminded Aziraphale of Crowley. She hadn’t _wanted_ the snake. Nor the bone-white dove. She had wanted the fox.

Nanny that is what she had named it, yellow eyes sparkling with mischief that reminded him so much of her other father. There are very few things that Aziraphale regrets, fewer yet that do not involve food. She wasn’t one of them. Even if she happened during one of their breaks. _The Break_. When Crowley had asked for the Holy Water. He had cared so much, had worried so much that she had manifested the moment he got home. Her egg a perfect shade of grey.

He doesn't regret her. What he regrets is not telling Crowley. That he stole time and memories the demon could have had of her. And oh, how he regretted his actions, his secrecy, his _fear_ , even more, when she was taken from him. Killed by a man; or demon or maybe even a Nephilim who had survived the purge, who left a scar on his face. Took his precious Eve away from him. When he gave the Holy Water to Crowley he had almost told him, almost showed him the scar that he hid. Ashamed of it, of his failure. He had turned in his seat and opened his mouth. But he had been a coward. _You go too fast for me_ he had said instead of _I went too slow and lost her_.

Crowley stands behind him. A cola in his hands, sunglasses on a table somewhere in the store. He doesn’t understand… or maybe he does understand why Aziraphale fled here when Crowley mentioned always wanting children. Why it is this room the color of the sky that Aziraphale came to get away. Why his Angel grabbed the stuffed fox and is hugging it like a child.

“Angel?”

“Her name was Eve,” he says softly. Playing with the fur she used to love rubbing her face on.

Aziraphale turns around. Holds out the fox. 

“I tried to tell you once. About her. About how she had your hair and my eyes. How she hissed and asked about you constantly. How she grew _faster_ than I knew how to deal with. How perfect she was and how sorry I was for not speaking up sooner”

Crowley touches the fox. Runs his long fingers through the fur, takes it from him. Aziraphale doesn’t breathe, all the more thankful that his corporal body doesn’t need too, as his demon lover and friend holds it. 

“What happened to her?”

“We… We were attacked.”

He lets the scar show. Jagged and ugly it bisects one of his eyes. The shock of it actually hurting had caused him to freeze, it had knocked him down.

His memory of the attack is spotty at best. He remembers the snow. The laughter as they walked about. As he told her of God and her Son. How He had died for humans and why. He remembers her blue snake-like eyes being wide as she listened to him. He remembers the pain. How no one looked their way as he screamed. The purple eyes of the one who took his daughter. But oh, how he remembers her tears. How she reached out for him. How he had reached out for her. How his throat tried to move, to shout. For Crowley, for Eve. For mercy. Mercy that never came and how cold her body was before it turned to snow and melted in his hands.

He tells Crowley this, arms wrapped around himself as he tries not to cry. He fails. Blubbers is what he does toward the end. Knees having hit the floor and eyes glued to the ground. Crowley will leave him now. Hate him. Have every reason to. Crowley deserved Eve. Has always had a soft spot for children. Loved them and protected them best a demon could. _He_ was the one who protested killing Adam when Aziraphale had no compunction against it. Would have done it.

“Sometimes I wonder God took her because she knew I didn't deserve her. That the wrong parent had been gifted her egg. I think about what it would have been like if you had been the one to hatch her,” his voice cracks as he speaks. He can't look up from the floor. Can't stomach seeing Crowley walk away from him.

“Oh, Angel.”

Long arms wrapped around him. The stuffed Fox and cola pressing into his back. How long they stay like that, he doesn't know. Pays no mind when the soda note hits the ground and a hand grabs his hair. Holds his face into a bony shoulder as they grieve and cry. As they imagine what if’s.

“I’ll fall if I lose another one.”

“And I’ll catch you if you do.”

Crowley kisses the side of his head, his cheeks, pulls away just enough to kiss his nose. Gentle. Far gentler than the Host would ever believe a demon to be. The thing about angel eggs, is that you don't choose when they happen. What love brings them into the plane of existence. Only She really had a say. And with the love that is being shown here and now? Aziraphale will be shocked if one isn't nestled somewhere on his person, waiting to be found.

“You won't be alone this time.”

“I'm sorry that I was the first time.”

Crowley kisses his lips. It's not forgiveness. Not exactly. But it's understanding. Together, together they can handle anything. Beat the odds. Raise a child.

“Now, why Eve?”

It startles a laugh out of him. Why Eve indeed.

“What would you have named her?”

The silence grows. And a tiredness seeps into his corporal body. Leaning into Crowley he closes his eyes, still waiting for an answer.

“Maybe-”

He’s asleep before he gets it.

**Author's Note:**

> This story is part of the [LLF Comment Project](https://longlivefeedback.tumblr.com/llfcommentproject), which was created to improve communication between readers and authors. This author invites and appreciates feedback, including:  
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